How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
