Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
