Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
