CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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