ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
