We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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