garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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