Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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