is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize