summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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