Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
