Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
