im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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