she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
