Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
