We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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