so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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