After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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