Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
