What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
