there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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