Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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