I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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