i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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