I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
