i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
