He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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