How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize