Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i can't believe i had my finger in that
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
