Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ladies don't puke and tell
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
