Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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