he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize