I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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