I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
