are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
