used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?