i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot