What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night