They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
