I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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