i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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