so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
