I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
