did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
