and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
