yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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