You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
