I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
