Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
