come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
