remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
