Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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