y did u give ur computer a hand job?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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