and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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