Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
