i just wanna soil my oats bro
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
