I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
