We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize