This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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