Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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