Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize