so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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