So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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