my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
