Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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