After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
