cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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