It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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