OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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